For my birthday,

I want autumn. I want a personal cook. I want to live in a lighthouse in Maine. I want to write a book that everyone wants to read. I want them to know what I know, and have what I have. I want to be a high school guidance counselor. I want to live in a loft in New York City. I want new black flip-flops. I want to help someone. I want to carve another pumpkin. I want an elliptical machine. I want to live in Bend, Oregon. I want to be missed when I’m not there. I want to be a morning person. I want a teapot...or two. I want to open an art gallery. I want to take ballet classes. I want to go to Georgia to meet my sister-in-law. I want to live under the northern lights in Alaska. I want a canopy bed and a new dresser. I want to walk on water. I want a new winter coat that I’ll never wear. I want to run a marathon. I want to live in a cabin on a mountain in Colorado. I want to go skiing. I want to make a difference. I want a real pantry, and a real laundry room. I want new clothes. I want to visit Ireland...and maybe live there, too. I want to build a house that looks like a castle. I want a peanut butter cup mix from Braums. I want to go see my dad, his wife, and his new house. I want six-pack abs. I want a new purse. I want to see myself the way you see me. I want to chop off my hair. I want to be well known. I want to own a ranch. I want a daughter. I want a pretty garden. I want my best friends to live where I live. I want a new tattoo. I want to have my own library. I want a comfortable recliner. I want a window seat. I want to have a girls weekend at a beach house in South Carolina. I want to go back to Kennewick to see it. I want to go to Italy. I want to see the sea. I want to surf, but just once. I want to live on a plantation in the South. I want to write a song. I want to laugh that hard again soon, and as often as possible.

I want to be content with who and what I am, what I have, and where I find myself in this moment, while striving for who and what I will be, what I will acquire, and where I will be tomorrow. I want to have love for every moment, and never feel regret. I want to leave a legacy of joyfulness and peace, so that when my children think of me, they’ll smile.

I want to live it.